Newbie

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A person who is new to a particular media space. Somewhere on the internet, as it is usually used. Though sometimes technology is included. Since this wiki is about Portland topics, this page is in fact about a Portland Newbie.

Duration

For lack of a better word, it is the time duration of years by which one is still considered a Newbie. Though the general rule of thumb to locals is around never, there is some agreement amongst Portland Metro area immigrants that it is about 5 years. Which is about long enough to learn the local social patterns, avoid any actionable taboos and hide their own recent origin.

Other areas just out of the metro area is shorter, and depends on other physical traits. Family with kids in elementary school for example is generally accepted quickly in the NW -- West of Linnton Park, and South of Washington Park.

Tips for fitting in

Part of fitting in is challenge of learning what and how to behave and appear to everyone else. Traits of a Portlander is a complex mix of fashion stereo-typing, social etiquette and taboo avoidance.

Highlights include:

  • Specialized Interests often voiced aggressively. Tip to newbie: When a Portlander voices a preference in an effort to alter a situation, simply wait and comply if it involves a response from you. In no way argue or criticize. The Portlander's preference is considered a basic human right, and censorship will cause retaliation.
  • Passive Aggressive Confrontation. Try to avoid responding since whatever you will say will be mentioned later by who ever heard it.
  • Slow Restaurant Service. The tip to the newbie would be to relax and enjoy the privacy until the server is able visit. For God's sake don't get up from the table and seek the server out or attempt to pay at the cashier.
  • Closed to outsiders In case the goal is to attempt deception in an effort to hide ones newbie-status, the best response to this is to agree enthusiastically and proceed to cite a local's name as quickly as possible.